One of A Billion Reasons I Hate The Ocean

Like seriously I can’t understand why my father literally threw me in Jones Beach as if he was playing fetch with a dog. I can still taste the salt water rushing down my throat and nose as if it was yesterday. I still feel like I am getting bumbled by the waves in my navy blue Speedo one-piece bathing suite. Just the thought of it alone makes me nauseous. My father thought it was a brilliant idea to throw his only daughter who has no idea how to spin in 6 feet deep water.

 I felt like my life was over like the ocean was going to swallow me up. I was doing flips in the water for a good 5 minutes and then finally air!! I came up to world with my grandfather, father my and cousin starring at me like I was a sea monster. I balled my eyes out because I was so mad my father did that to me. “NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN” I screamed at my father in front of everyone. He thought it was a joke, he was laughing as it was some comedy act to him. I was still in shock of what he did I was still hacking up the 4 gallons of water I inhaled.

I sure taught him, 13 years later and I still haven’t been to the beach with him since. HA!

If Tigers Ran The Mafia

When you look at me, you see intimidation nothing else to look at! I am a big white tiger with piercing blue eyes that burn through your soul. I don’t think you should look at me because when you look at me you’re just asking to get your throat knocked in. If you haven’t realized already I’m the boss, I have nobody to answer too but myself.

                        Later that night….

As I jaunted through the casino, I seen my good friend Fat Tommy playing at the craps table. He told me there was some business I had to take care of I the back room, some guy thinking who he is was preying on my zebras in my territory. Who does this guy think he is? Taking my zebras those are my zebras and boars.

So I took actions into my own hands, instead of shooting the guy like these humans do (the easy way out), I bite him, tore him to shreds. My teeth are as sharp as a hunters’ knife, I got the most spine chilling teeth in town. In this town you don’t mess with me, my boys, my zebras or boars because you will have to deal with me the boss, the bloodcurdling tiger that runs this town!

Cave Men

Is it gold? Is it diamonds? Can it be both? Life long friends Jack, Rose and Patrick were on a hunt! They traveled across the country from New York to California for the new found Gold and jewels. They heard from a friend of a friend of a friend that select California caves have gold and or diamonds. Considering only a few caves had the stash, they were 100% were willing to put their all into finding the fortune.

As they all arrived, they settled into a 3-bedroom condo in San Francisco and were ready to start their mission. They had all blue prints to start out their hunt to find the goods. They started at the cave about 25 miles away from their condo and started digging and hitting. Dig after dig after dig nothing. They spent about 16 hours straight working and nothing.

3 weeks passed by and still couldn’t find a thing. At this point, they were getting very frustrated and fed up they have been looking non stop for days and they can’t seem to hit jackpot. Since they are all frustrated with not finding anything, they all start getting mad at each other and started bickering. Jack, Rose and Patrick are all fed up with hunting and each other. At this point, they all want to go home but agree on getting one last cave done.

4 weeks and 30 caves later, they hit it. The last cave had all the gold and diamonds they have been wishing for. They found millions upon millions of dollars’ worth of gold and diamonds. They couldn’t have been any happier. They were all able to go home happily to their families… and millionaires.